How I learnt English

I was born in a village 100 miles away from the super city, Colombo. Though my parents were teachers, they very not keen in English. They had a very good vocabulary which I could never catch up. in Grade 7 a monstrous English teacher came to our class. though I could read and write some words, I was totally lost in understanding grammar and dictation. in grade 8 I only got 32 marks for English which made the class teacher a demon and a reason to beat me and humiliate me infront of all of grade 8 students. I remember how i cried begging him not to hit me. By grade 9, the harassment of the English class teacher made me a neurosis patient. Upto grade 11 i was admitted to the hospital due to shock and fear to the class teacher. I couldn’t catch up Maths and English both. But I was excellent in Sinhala, Science and all other subjects. I got all island 1st in Sinhala essay writing several times. I did sports and went upto all island level with master track. I got a ‘c’ pass for English at the O/L cos I parroted essays and letters using past papers. Otherwise I didnt have any knowledge on grammar. Situation was same even by grade 13. I knew very little in English. But there was a small change after finishing school. I began to read English books, not heavy books but cheap and simple love stories which motivated me to read and find meanings. After that most things were changed. In GELT (pre- university English training) I began to understand basics in English language. at University we had a huge library. Most of law books were in English. Though I was not very good in writing, I tried to read some books and understand. But even at that time I couldn’t talk in English.

There was a change to the direction of my life again. I learnt about internet and began to chat. To be honest, chatting was my teacher which gave me a super help to communicate with people in English. But still I was too shy and could talk in English with anyone. Life went on. I used internet a lot. With the nature of my career, I had to draft letters. I followed a same letter format but developed it with changes needed. Day by day, the English speaking ability and writing ability was improved. Today I have come to a level which I can manage English language. But still I improve myself. Now I learn English from the basic level again and most importantly I learn to teach English in the most accurate way. Cos, I have experienced the bitterness of confusion in teaching English in Sri Lanka, and during last 5 years I saw how my daughter struggle in learning English. My real victory is not learning English speaking or writing but learning the weaknesses most kids go trough with the various systems used in different classes and difficulties they face in managing the language. I am proud cos I could help my daughter to learn basics in a systematic way. I never forget how I suffered because of the English teacher for 5 years. How I prayed him to come to the class even few minutes delayed. How I tried to be motivated to go school by buying small items each week. I dont want my daughter to go through the same hell ever.
I will share what my observations of my daughter’s learning English and the successful method I use to improve her knowledge.

You should have reminded me……bla bla bla

Once an HR Manager in another company asked me whether he can pay a visit to a training program we organized to see whether the training is relevant for their organization too. I said ‘yes’ and gave all the details two weeks before.

As he didnt come on the training day, I contacted him over the phone and asked whether he comes. The reply I got was one of the most interesting common answers I get from some people.

“oh.. I totally forgot that……bla bla bla.. You should have reminded me yesterday….bla bla bla”

” ah really?? why should I? Am I the secretary of yours? ”  I swallowed my unuttered answer.

How many times have you heard this ‘you should have reminded ..’ phrase from a person who have forgotten something? This is a dirty way some people use to trow the ball to another. Is it healthy for a healthy relationship at work?

If you are a person who is having that reaction whenever you forget something, only thing you should know is, your reaction hurts other person to the extend to loose his / her respect on you. If you say that to your wife / husband when you forget to do something, he / she will not say a word as a reply, but will curse you from the inner heart for not accepting your mistake.

Accepting a mistake is the greatest thing a person can do. That shows how humble he / she is. Respect should be earned through personal values not demanded.

A firm hand shake – Not an indication for over confident / confidence anymore

When interview candidates who are coming from various levels, we experience different type of handshakes. Some are weak, some are strong, some are really strong and memorable with a pain for few minutes even after they leave the room. 😀

Firm handshake means two things for me.

1. that person is really over confident or trying to be smart at the interview

2. that person is aware about handshaking methods and trying to show his confidence but has eventually turned to a posture of over confidence even without the knowledge of the candidate.

Since the handshake is not a good way to measure a person’s confidence level as it is very much personalized, I just ignore what comes to my mind with the way they offer their handshakes.

Selecting people – taking a calculated risk

As I believe, selecting employees is not a perfect process we have the total ownership. It is very similar to a marriage. Before the marriage, people show their fairy picture to the partner hiding all the weaknesses they have. Though there are reference checks and personality checks, we can never see the true self of a candidate we interview. Because the world is such a crazy place that all of us have been trained to pretend as someone whom we are not really us.

In such a crazy world, there is no harm in taking a calculated risk to recruit a person whom we have a doubt about capabilities. Because the environment, soil and the fertilizer have a great effect on blooming a flower beautifully.

Changing layout – should be a collective decision of all levels of the organization

ABC organization had designed their layout in a different way. As per the initial layout, AGM and above employees had been given cubicles. Senior Managers had been given a separate area with a small particle. Managers, Deputy Managers, Assistant Managers and also the Senior Executives have been given bigger tables. When the staff grows, the company faced to a problem at seat allocation for the new Managers because there were not enough tables.

As a solution HR Department suggested a change to the seating arrangements with a location change to the departments. HR Manager had a meeting with the Heads of the Departments where all the Heads agreed to stand by the plan and to sort out the issues possibly coming from the employees.

But something different happened at the day of the shuffle actually happened.

As Senior Executives had been given tables similar to Managers (as per the lay out of the company the actual plan is also to locate senior executives in the manager tables) one person didnt change his place to the suggested place where other senior executives sat. He is an old employee who had been in the company for a long time, but the grade is senior executive.

In a scenario like this, most common incident is passing the ball here and there by Head of the Departments, HR Manager and even the CEO of the company because no one talks the responsibility of negotiating and explaining the organizational view point of the company.

What are the learning of this type of a scenario?

1. Management should talk one language. There should not be behind the wall talks, criticisms or passing the ball efforts.

2. It is not only the HR Manager’s responsibility. All the Heads of the Departments are equally responsible to stand the change.

3. As this is a rectification action to a wrong decision taken in the initial stage, there will be definitely grievances. Therefore whatever the change done should be indiscriminative.

4. The organization always should do the change on a rationale.